Story 15 - Louse Killer...with added observation
Discover the power of observation in shaping character.
WHAT’S INSIDE THIS POST?
1 - The Story
2 - An Explanation of Observation
3 - Writing Task
4 - Multiple Choice Questions (with answers)
5 - Discussion Points
THE STORY
Jack watched with fascination as the woodlouse journeyed across the floor, navigating its way past cracks, small stones and unidentifiable sticky substances. It moved slowly due to a broken leg. Occasionally, it paused, its tentacles searching as it mapped out its next move, or maybe it was just resting its tired body. Jack remembered hearing that insects had no compassion, that they lacked the cognitive abilities required to feel empathy. He wondered if this applied to their own life. Could they feel self-pity? Or disappointment? Or even regret? If they couldn’t, then Jack envied them. The louse dragged its broken limb over yet another crack in the concrete and meandered its way toward the door. Jack was so entrenched in watching this insect that he didn’t even hear his name being called by the guard standing in the doorway. Twice Jack’s name was called before he looked up. The guard stepped forward. Jack tried to speak. He raised his hand in a desperate gesture to stop. But it was too late. A crushing boot came down and condemned the poor louse to death.
Ignoring the pained look on Jack's face, the guard spoke. “Is there a problem?” he croaked in a broken voice which was scarred with echoes of trauma; it scratched and writhed in his throat like it were both torturer and victim. It was a voice carved from silence. Forgotten practice.
Jack met the guard’s eyes, but he was unable to wipe the scowl from his face; his own empathy was ripe for the defeated louse and its failed journey. “No problem,” he murmured, attempting to mimic the guard’s brutal tone. He did not know this man, but the hate he felt for him drummed with every beat of his heart. Vengeful hate.
“Good, because it's time to go.”
The guard stood to one side of the door, creating room for Jack to pass. As he did, Jack sized him up. He was tall, very tall, almost seven feet, and he was dressed in green combat trousers and a tight grey t-shirt. The soles of shiny, black boots left prints chronicling the dark deeds of his past, and his arms were tree trunks, with veins wrapped around them like thick jungle vines. Bristles of thick black hair stood upright on his head, like soldiers ready for battle—proud yet deadly. Covering his solid jaw was a layer of coarse stubble, so coarse you could strike a match on it. And his sunken eyes swelled with sin. With such a tough exterior, Jack doubted much penetrated, and even less was let out.
Marching down the corridor, they were met by two more guards, each scary in their own right, although, even with their guns tucked into their belts, they paled in comparison to the first guard. They looked at Jack, spoke in a foreign tongue, then burst out laughing, but the louse killer remained silent. He was still and expressionless. He waited until their chuckles subsided. Then he snapped, “Enuff!”
The smiles scampered off their faces, their cheeks flushed red, and they hung their heads. The louse killer pushed Jack forward. “Follow,” he commanded, pointing toward the two shamed guards. Jack did as he was told.
AN EXPLANATION OF OBSERVATION
Sitting there, just watching something and thinking, is when I am my most me. The observational thoughts that make sense of the scenes that play out before me, reveal me. It’s my perspective. It’s my view of the world. It’s all the trauma and the privilege I’ve endured and received that shape my vision.
A louse on the floor.
Walking.
Others wouldn’t see it. Others would be disgusted by it. But Jack understands it. Observational thoughts are easily one of the most successful ways to reveal character. It allows your reader to get to know them on a level deeper than a spouse, a friend, a family member. We see them for who they really are. We see their darkness and their light. We see the world through their lens, and in doing so we see the way they process the world. In observing the louse, Jack's empathy and personal struggles become clear to the reader. This process of observation, thought, and revelation allow us to truly understand Jack.
WRITING TASK
Free writing can be overwhelming for children. While letting them write anything sounds like a great way to unleash creativity, it often leads to scattered ideas or clichéd stories: flying on unicorns to defeat an evil wizard called Bob-o-mort with a sword called a laser-sabre is wild but not particularly creative. To really tap into their creativity, it helps to set some boundaries. This doesn’t restrict their imagination but actually removes the pressure of having too many choices.
Think of it this way: Before thinking outside the box, you need to know what’s inside it. For example, in the story above, the character is stuck in a cell, observing a louse. This literal containment allows me to focus on one setting (the cell) and one event (observing the louse), freeing up my creativity to develop thoughts, feelings, and descriptions that reveal much more about the characters.
Have a go at this by encouraging your child to think up a character who is locked up in a cell and then have them focus on one small and seemingly innocuous thing—like a mouse hunting for food, a leak dripping down the wall, the dark sky outside the window, a bird that perches on the window, a wind that blows in and swirls around the room, a spider that spins its web in the corner, etc. They should not include a big plot and they don’t need to include other characters unless they want to. The goal is to explore how their character sees the world.
MULTIPLE CHOICE QUESTIONS
1. What does Jack mean when he "envied" the woodlouse for its lack of emotions?
A) He wishes he could move as freely as the woodlouse.
B) He longs to be free of negative emotions.
C) He admires the woodlouse's resilience despite its broken leg.
D) He is fascinated by the simplicity of insect life.
2. Why does Jack fail to hear his name being called by the guard?
A) He is trying to avoid the guard's attention.
B) He is overwhelmed by the sound of the woodlouse’s movements.
C) He is deeply absorbed in observing the woodlouse’s journey.
D) He is contemplating the guard’s actions from earlier.
3. When describing the guard's voice, what is meant by "scarred with echoes of trauma" and "carved from silence"?
A) The guard rarely speaks, and when he does, it is filled with pain from his past.
B) The guard’s voice is weak from illness or injury.
C) The guard has a habit of speaking cruelly to others.
D) The guard struggles to speak because he feels guilty for his actions.
4. How does Jack’s description of the guard’s boots add to the overall tone of the scene?
A) The shiny boots suggest that the guard takes pride in his appearance.
B) The boots symbolise the guard’s long history of violence and darkness.
C) The black boots indicate that the guard is part of a strict military force.
D) The boots highlight the guard’s dominance and authority over others.
5. Why do the other guards stop laughing when the first guard snaps “Enuff!”?
A) They are shocked by the first guard’s unexpected outburst.
B) They are embarrassed for laughing in front of Jack.
C) They respect the authority of the first guard and are used to following his orders.
D) They feel guilty for making fun of Jack.
6. Jack’s feelings toward the guard are best described as:
A) A mixture of fear and admiration.
B) A growing sense of disgust.
C) Resentment and a desire for revenge.
D) Indifference toward the guard’s actions.
Answers:
1B, 2C, 3A, 4B, 5C, 6C.
DISCUSSION POINTS
Can you find examples of descriptive and figurative language that teach you about the charactes in this story? For example, the guard’s voice is described as 'scarred with echoes of trauma' and his boots 'chronicling the dark deeds of his past.' How do these descriptions help us understand him?
Examples to discuss:
Metaphor: "Scarred with echoes of trauma" – This shows how the guard’s voice reflects a difficult past.
Metaphor: "The soles of shiny, black boots left prints chronicling the dark deeds of his past" – This means he must have done terrible things in the past whilst wearing these boots.
Simile: "His arms were tree trunks, with veins wrapped around them like thick jungle vines" – This shows the guard’s physical strength and how Jack is intimidated by him.
Additional moments to discuss:
"Jack was so entrenched in watching this insect that he didn’t even hear his name being called."
"The smiles scampered off their faces, their cheeks flushed red."
"His sunken eyes swelled with sin."